Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
