yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
