Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
If I had your ass I would rule the world
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
