it was like his penis was on wheels.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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