Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
