i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
