afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
