ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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