why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
