Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
