I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
