I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
