adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
