Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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