I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
