i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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