Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
