i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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