My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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