Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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