I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The power of my boobs compel you
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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