can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
