Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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