I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
