So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
