I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
