I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
