Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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