sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
