Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
