I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Hippo gnu deer
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
