My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
