Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
