Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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