Sry I called you an 8
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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