That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
