I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
