real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i need an iv and a liver transplant
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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