I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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