How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
