Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
