apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
