I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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