Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
