can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
