I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
