she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
