it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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