Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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