I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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