I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
