And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
