So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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