she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
