Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
