In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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