what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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